One day left until February is over and in my usual tardy fashion, finally nailing down my goals for this year. I have to admit that the lateness in part is due to laziness and actually writing it all out, but also due to the fact that I really wanted to figure out what areas I wanted to focus my energies on this year. Each one I have thoroughly thought over, examined, picked apart, and shaped into what I hope to accomplish with them this year. I know last year I reviewed the previous years' goals but quite frankly, I don't have it in me to do that this year. 2016 was, well it just was and I'd rather leave it be.
1 | Finish my #everythingwillbeoktour weaving collection ---> Some of you may or may not know this but, this summer I launched into a full on weaving frenzy inspired by all of the beautiful places I was traveling through on my cross country adventure with Brooklyn. I had been stuck in a creative rut, drought if you will, and that mashed together with other personal things I was going through left me feeling dead inside. Not to sound all dramatic, and if you're a creative person you'll probably resonate with this sentiment, but when I am not creating, I don't feel alive. When I'm not being inspired, I feel lifeless. It was clear to me that something had to give and then when pretty much everything did, weaving in a way saved me. What happened I can't even really explain... All of the emotions and feelings of fear, worry, sadness, defeat, they all poured out of me into my creations. Weaving became my therapy, a way of working with my hands that I had been craving while doing some serious soul searching (and crying). Still stumbling through life (and my weaving) with no clear direction or indication about anything, I happened across an opportunity I knew in my heart I couldn't possibly give up. Enter Terlingua, an offer as a local guest artist for my weavings, and a sweet gig as a bar tender (something I've ALWAYS wanted to do!) and it seemed like fate was finally giving me a break... or maybe it was God? What I'm trying to say is that out of a whole lot of crap, just.jackie.co was born and so was my #everythingwillbeoktour series which at last count was somewhere in the 90's? Possibly 100's by the time I make it NYC? Everything finally clicked and made sense and the ah-ha moment happened. Now I have a lot of weaving to excitedly get through so stay tuned to the shop!
2 | Shop more intentionally and mindfully ---> Like many things in life, why certain things seem to stand out and take precedent over others at certain times I'll never fully understand but here I am. After realizing that I would only be able to bring with me the things that fit in Beyonce (my car), and the fact that Brooklyn's tree took up about one third of that space, it was made clear to me that major prioritizing had to happen. All of a sudden everything that I had once deemed so important lost its value as the necessities began filling up my car. My beloved stuff became just that, stuff. Living out of your car for six months can do wonders on how you perceive material possessions. Of course I know that when I eventually get to the other side (NYC) I'll have to add a few things back onto my list of stuff, like a mattress, perhaps a bed frame. But that got me thinking about buying out of need vs buying just to buy, to feel good, to fill a void which was something I was totally guilty of in the past. I didn't want to end up surrounded by a bunch of stuff again. Hoping to take my new found/forced on minimalism one step forward, one of my goals will be to only add to the list of "stuff" things that I genuinely need. And around the time that I was toying with that thought, another one seemed to surface that actually went hand in hand, shopping mindfully. What I mean by that is being the best consumer I can possibly be by shopping responsibly. Doing my research to try and purchase locally, environmentally friendly, sustainable, and ethically well made goods whenever possible. This may mean they might be a little more on the expensive side, but since I won't be senselessly shopping, I'm ok with that. Plus as a designer, I can appreciate the time and labor that well made goods take and along with it, their value. It's not something that will happen overnight, but somethingI see as more of a life style. Through this journey, I'll be creating a shop responsibly tab at the top of the blog and adding companies as I discover them if you want to join in.
3 | Run more/again ---> Let's face it, I have a pattern when it comes to running... a love/hate relationship that I just love to, well, love and hate! I fall in and out of it and where I'm running has as much to with how often I'm running as my moods do. But bottom line is this, I really (usually) enjoy running and so as long as I continue writing yearly goals and as long as my knees cooperate, some variation of running more often than not will always be on the list. I will continue to run for me and nothing else. Run because it keeps me fit, run because it helps me think through my thoughts, run because I can and I am very grateful for that.
4 | Educate myself on feminism ---> Feminism... often perceived as such a dirty word. So many stigmas and negative connotations, I myself have to admit, it wasn't a word I wanted to associate myself with. My experiences with the term sadly has been on the frustrating side. Women putting down other women if they aren't portraying their ideal of what a feminist should be, talk like, look like. Man haters, against child rearing, and anti any and all things pink! After having many talks with much more intelligent women than myself like little k and other proud feminist friends, I began to realize and understand that the only way to change the stereotype was to own the word and project a different image for it. One that I too can be proud of. What I feel the embodiment of a feminist should be. So I'm claiming it loudly and proudly on this here blog, I am a feminist and want to further educate myself on what this means to me. If you have any thoughts on this subject, I'd love to hear them in the comments :)
5 | Laugh more, smile often ---> Another one of those things you may or may not know about with me and my life is that my marriage kind of fell apart. I shared a little insight in this post if you care to read. So it's a safe assumption that I cried a lot this last year. I think I may have cried more in 2016 than I had in the whole of my life combined previously. And that's ok, I needed to let it out. In a weird, round about way, I had one of the saddest, hardest, most challenging years ever that was also filled with so much love, support, and many things to be grateful for. And while I did get to experience a trip of a life time and do something that many others may only dream about doing, I think I quite possibly cried in each and every state I ventured through, each national park I explored in, each bed I laid my tired soul to rest on. Slowly though the journey, people touched me in ways I didn't think strangers could and made me start smiling again. Shyly at first, I had been so out of practice! And the further I continued east and the more I allowed life to happen as it willed, the more I smiled. That smile eventually turned into laughter and it felt good, great! The heartbreak was still there but it was beginning to heal. The growing pains ached but I could see hope on the other side. I've always been a smiley, all teeth showing kinda person so to lose such a distinctive part of me also felt like I had lost my identity in a way. So now that it's feeling more natural again, I fully intend on smiling more and to everyone. And laughing, yea, that too. I'm talking laughing so hard from deep within your belly you hardly breath as tears stream down your face, kinda laughing if you want to join!
***Today I am thankful for words... sometimes I have none and sometimes I have too many and sometimes they don't make sense at all but that's ok***