The eye opening sunset... my cheesy grin... it was perfect timing. The ending to a crazy work packed week (for me) and the sun going down as a symbolic gesture that I had made it... the light at the end of my tunnel. A little dramatic, perhaps. But this past week I have poured my everything into a project... blood (paper cuts), sweat (from nerves), and tears (I think I cried at least once a day, every day from the sheer pressure of it all!) But in the end I delivered and that's all that matters. It was so tempting at times after I had completely broken down to just admit defeat and stay curled up in the fetus position. At one point hubs asked if there was anything he could do to help and I just replied "drugs". I don't even know why I said that, I don't do drugs. I guess in my delusional sleep deprived state where every inch of my body hurt from hours of sitting at a makeshift desk it seemed appropriate.
This moment, captured by the ever loving and supporting hubs of mine (seriously thank you!) is just amazing. I was sooooo happy to be done, proud that I had made it, and ready to wash down all of my hangups with an ice cold beer. And that sunset... man it's just breath taking it isn't it? They usually are over here in the surreal world that is Santa Monica, but I like to think that this one was exceptionally beautiful and saved for just this moment. You learn a lot about yourself when pushed to the limits... walking the line was all I could think about, always on the edge of teetering and collapsing thanks to my self destructive nature. But I had hubs there, cheering me on when I needed it the most and giving me some tough love when I just wanted to sulk in self pity. And the love and encouragement I got from family and friends, most that didn't even really know what I was doing, it was enough to help me come to grips with everything. So thank you everyone, you helped in more ways that I thought was possible. Now I just have to wait and see what happens...
But enough of my ramblings, there are boxes to unpack that have been sitting patiently waiting for over a week now and the temptation has been unbelievable. You know things are that hectic when the boxes have been left (mostly) untouched for this long! And there's a heap of laundry at least as tall as myself that needs to be tackled because we are out of underwear in the Beale household and have been wearing bathing suit bottoms for the past few days and that is not very domestic now is it? I'm pretty sure we are also out of food because things like eating and sleeping got way low on the list of priories around here... again, so sorry hubs! So yea... the work continues, but of a different kind. And believe it or not, household stuff like this actually acts like therapy for me. Maybe it's the predictable nature of it all that just suits my controlling nature. But first I'll enjoy some homemade iced coffee and catch up on some blog reading... just because I can.
***Today I am thankful that hell week is over... until next time!***