Hello long lost friends! I seriously can't believe that it's nearly the end of July and that the last time I was on here (properly) was around the fourth of July! I mean, I feel like I've just blinked and two seconds later I'm about to turn the calender page to yet another new month... holy time is going at warp speed these days!!! So what exactly have I been up to... not even sure where to begin...
This month has been a positive one in many ways and forms... work, body, mind... and of course love, but thanks to hubs, family, and friends, that department hardly ever needs work!
Work- In case you didn't know my story, I'll quickly sum it up like this... married for love, moved for visa, can't find a job! Or at least one in an area that fulfills me creatively. It's been nearly a year and half since I made the leap (countries I mean) and with the economy and the constant London snobbery in artistic fields (sorry but it's true), I have yet to find my place in the career scene. But with all this new found time, I have been able to really explore the depths of design and focus on the kind of designer I aspire to be. I wish I could say that the past year and half was spent in this way, maximizing my time and energy to the fullest, but it wasn't. In fact it's only been in the last couple of months that I have come to terms with the fact that if you really love what you do, you might have to take some steps down in order to get back on track. I wasn't prepared for this in the slightest... I mean I had been so busy climbing up my whole life that going down didn't even seem like an option. It's only now that I realize life has no specific structure and that whole "things not necessarily going to plan" can happen more often than you'd think. Through this process I have learned a lot about myself, even somethings I wouldn't have thought and I don't particularity like. I have been wounded (pride-wise) and I have hit rock bottom (a bit dramatic, I know) but here I am... still standing, still creating, and still pursuing. With the launch of chi.qui.ti.tos (a glimpse into my world as a children's fashion designer), some recent collaborations, and the encouragement of fellow peers, I am happy and proud to announce to the world that I am now a freelancer!!! Sure for the time being I am a "free" freelancer, but I'm ok with that. I'm just happy and eager to create and that's all it really comes down to at the end f the day.
Body- In the past, we have had a love/hate relationship as I'm sure most people do. I would constantly try to push myself physically and get upset when my body failed to keep up. Sometimes getting so frustrated that I would walk away completely from any form of physical activity (I'm looking at you running!). And then there have been the times when my body is co-operating and I am achieving the results I'm after, only to fall victim to a cold or injury. Again, I'm not the most patient person and even less when it comes to myself. So you can just imagine the roller coaster of a ride that has been me and fitness. I'm not really sure when... or why for that matter... but (magically) everything seems to have clicked into place for me. I don't mean that my expectations and the outcomes match, just that I have a better understanding of when my body needs rest and am ok when I don't necessarily hit my goals. I tried to jump start my workout routine by adding a ton of new things in at once (classic overachiever me) and surprise, surprise... my body crashed. But you know what? I recognized the problems, sat out for the time needed, and tried again. I'm finding I'm being a lot more patient with myself these days... like I'm suddenly wise and all those years of experience have only now just caught up with me. I even started track (wait for it), have signed up to two half marathons within weeks from each other (wait for it), and will be taking on hill training (I know! who am I?!?). Of course I have goals for all of these things, and I still think they are important to keep me motivated... but I am also being more realistic. I'm realizing it's ok when goals aren't met and it's ok to change them around. Recognizing that right there has made a world of difference for me!
Mind- As you can imagine, my mind has been a complete mixture of emotions in the past couple of years. I have experienced them all, from the highs of happiness, to the lows of depression. In this post I had shed light on some of the issues I had been (secretly) dealing with and was deeply touched by the lovely responses from family, friends, and followers. It has been a long tough road... endless soul searching... questioning of everything... giving up more times than I care to count... and the entire time leaning on the unconditional love and support from hubs, the parents, and little k like you wouldn't imagine. As with other areas of my life, one thing seems consistent across the board. Identify what isn't working and figure out ways to fix it... even if that means breaking free from traditional ways and rules. And if you know me, I am all about the rules (usually self imposed) and sticking to the plan. Well ladies and gentlemen... Can I just say I have officially thrown out the rule book and crumbled away any remains of any plans... and I have to say, I feel much freer for it! It also helps when my self esteem (provided by work) and body are flowing nicely together. In fact, if I've learned anything at all from all of this, it's that you need to work on on each of these areas simultaneously as they all coexist together to make you who you are.
Happy work-wise + happy body-wise + happy mind-wise = a happy me!!!
Sorry for all the rambling... it was a long and slightly serious one... but I just wanted to share with you guys. In trying to find the balance in my life, I hope to resume posting regularly... but not making any promises for the reasons as stated above ;)