Easy...

pic found here

So Ive thought long and hard about blogging on this topic for awhile now... yes, no, keeping it light and friendly... just above the surface... but you know what? This is a lifestyle blog chronicling my life and sometimes it's not that perfect. Sometimes I do break down, and sometimes I just need to vent (even if don't know who actually reads this). So here goes... a muddled together typed version of my thoughts and feelings lately... Sorry if it makes no sense.

I completely believe in the above saying... respect it even. I believe in trying hard, your hardest, and then some to get what you want out of life. And I guess for the most part I have always seen the results pretty soon afterwards. But what do you do when you try and try, get knocked down and get back up again, only to keep failing? What do you when you start losing hope and start feeling like maybe things should come a little bit easier because your tired, you feel like you've proved yourself, have a wounded spirit, and just don't know how to keep trying? I started this blog at the beginning of the year, and as many of you know it hasn't been the smoothest of rides. In the past 12 months I have gotten engaged, ended a career, gotten married, relocated to another country, and tried to start a new life. It has been a roller coaster of emotions, an exciting and exhausting adventure, and I'm starting to feel a bit overwhelmed!

I find myself feeling really homesick even though I haven't lived at home since I was 18. And even though Ive lived here before, London feels a lot more frigid and cold this time around, and I'm not just referring to the weather (that's taking getting used to in itself). Making friends and branching out on my own has been close to non existent since I lack a job to meet new people. My daily routine for the most part consists of running (something I cling to to as my own), wandering about, and Starbucks. The lack of jobs in the market is so depressing at times, and just recently discovering that my whole portfolio and approach has to be changed from the NYC standard that it's in is enough to send anyone running. To say that my pride and ego have taken a beating out here is an understatement... and not to sound conceded, but Ive always known my talent and valued my worth.

Just a whole series of events that Ive encountered since the move... from losing a loved one, developing allergies when Ive never had any, being stolen from, dealing with draining friendships, lack of internet (sounds childish I know), and many more... it just seems like London is trying to keep me down... or is it life? I don't know anymore. And I realize that I am very fortunate to have found the love of my life, who has been nothing but supportive, patient, understanding, and much more tolerant of me than Ive even been of myself to help in this journey... yet some how I can't help but feel sad, frustrated, upset, and angry. Staying true to my positive, happy, smiley self is getting harder and harder as I feel more and more lost. This loss of identity and purpose is probably the most frightening and am trying desperately to find myself again.

I'm not really sure why I am writing all this and sharing so much... if you ask any of my friends, I am generally a very private person when it comes to the hard stuff. But I felt the urge to, and I may regret it later (although I also strongly believe in never regretting your choices), but I guess I'll just have to see what come out of this. For now at least I feel a sense of calm in getting this out there... off of my chest. Am I perfect? No way. Trying my hardest? You betcha. All I can do is be me and just hope that sooner or later I get a brake... and trust me, you guys will be the first to know! Thanks for listening and I'm done with the whining...

***Today I am thankful for hubs for he is truly my rock and what keeps me going out here***

Life's Many Mottos...

Hi and happy Friday friends!!! To some of you this may mean a break from work, a time to relax and maybe enjoy some outdoor time... not for me though! Today- Monday will be the final stretch of my second project extravaganza Ive had going on over here. Time to pull out all the stops and really go for it! That and let's not forget training for the half... sadly you can't just wake up one day and do it (if only there was a pill or something). So on that note, I leave you guys to bask in your weekend of freedom and with a little reminder for myself (and you too!) that you can do anything, but not everything... always my biggest problem!!!

If you liked that quote, check out my Life's Many Mottos page on Pinterest... I'm always on the hunt for some quirky, inspiring, real life wow quotes... things to help us all get through the rough days. If you have any to add let me know too!

P.S.- I'm at 75% of my fundraising goal for Race For Life... race is next Saturday... donate here!!!

P.S.S- Don't forget to join the give away here.

***Today I am thankful I was able to push myself past my running hurdle and did all 6 miles... bring it on Race For Life!!!***

Love Through The Years Mix...

A year ago today he asked... and I said yes!!! I can't believe it's been exactly one year already since hubs and I got engaged... I know it sounds cliche but the time has really flown by! I can close my eyes still and remember exactly how it all happened and it still seams like a dream... a very good and slightly fuzzy dream. Funnily enough, neither of us can actually remember what he said! So a sort of silent dream I suppose. His proposal was actually the first post I ever wrote on here. At a time in my life when so much was changing, starting the blog with this experience seemed like a natural fit. It was a new chapter in our lives together, in my career and location, and as an individual. So today's mix is a dedication of songs (some happy, some sad) that have strong memories attached to them of a love that endured long distance for five long, but very happy years... enjoy!

Raining in Baltimore by Counting Crows

No More Running Away by Air Traffic

Mardy Bum by Arctic Monkeys

Under My Umbrella by Rihanna

I Found A Reason by Cat Powers

I Would Be Sad by Avett Brothers

Make You Feel My Love by Adele

Wait by Alexi Murdoch

Have A Little Faith In Me by Van Morrison

***Today I am thankful that he asked the most perfect question in the most perfect of ways a year ago... and that he says he'd ask again if he could***

15 Days To Go...

Just a quick reminder... remember this post about Race For Life??? Well the race is just a mere 15 days away now and we still have a whole lot of fundraising to do folks! So be a doll (or a gent), and hand over some pennies!!! It's time to dig under couch cushions, reach deep into your pockets for all that loose change, and hand over all those lucky pennies you've been secretly picking up when you think no one's been looking (bet ya someone saw!) Yes even the smallest of donations helps guys so don't be shy... really! Go on over to my page to read why I'm doing what I'm doing and contribute... sorry no dust bunnies allowed though! And just to get you in the mood some more, here are some pink inspirational eye candies for you lucky people you! Enjoy and thanks for helping out!!!

***Today I am thankful for such great races like Race For Life and Race For The Cure that allow me to help in a way possible for me... that and the color pink***

Some More Little Things...

Here are a few more Little Things to keep you going through week... I'll be back tomorrow!!!

***Today I am thankful for the eight wonderful months hubs and I have shared so far... our beautiful adventure is just beginning!!!***

They Keep Me Going...

If you read yesterday's post, you know I'm a little wrapped up in something till after tomorrow, so today's post will be cut a bit short... sorry! To keep it music related, I thought I'd share with you guys the key ladies I have been listening to that fuel my drive. They are Lady Gaga, Beyonce, and Britney Spears. I have literally been keeping them on repeat since Monday night and poor hubs has had to endure it all... a real trooper! And I'm not just talking about their new stuff, but first and second albums too! There's been a real teenage girl vibe at the flat lately, and yup hubs has embraced by singing along. Hope you can turn to them when you need inspiration and motivation too! Let me know of any others I should be listening to in times of crunch.

***Today I am thankful for Gaga, Beyonce, Britney, and hubs... together, they keep me going!***

Little Things...

Happy Monday everyone! Hope everyone had a good weekend... ours was perfect, not all according to plan but then that's life isn't it? It was perfect none the less because I got to enjoy it with my wonderful hubs! I'll share details with you all on Thursday's London Love... but since were on the subject of life... another curb ball!!! I know I mentioned starting my 30 for 30 remix today (and yes I was good and did my h.w. of picking out all 30 items, thank you), but something's come up and I may be tied up till Wednesday. I'll try to explain later in the week and maybe even share some of the things Ive been working on...

So instead of my originally planed post, I will share with you a great new blog that I found on Friday that really made me smile and goes along with my whole thankful for each each day thing I got going on over here. Little Things is just that, a blog dedicated to listing all the simple things we should appreciate. I know with life sometimes it's hard to see the positive, and as times get trying, it's so much easier to indulge in self pity... trust me I'm no stranger to this. But I believe that happiness can cure all and that if we work hard each day in achieving it, it becomes a natural way of life in time.... and I just love happy people! So go on and enjoy all the little things this blog reminds you of... here are just a few of my favorite from the first page... can't wait to read older posts!

Did you find any that clicked with you in particular??? I'd love to hear which ones are your favorite and add some of your own too!!! It's the little things isn't it...

***Today I am thankful for the little things like when I have just enough milk and cereal for a full bowl, when laundry is finally all caught up, and when hubs cleans the bathroom... cause let's face it, no one wants to do that!***

Last Week's Miami/London Love...

Alrighty so I am a week behind (surprise, surprise) so I'll try to wrap this up with last week as quickly and pain free as possible for both you guys and myself! I shall tackle this week tomorrow. My head hurts trying to think of earlier this week, let alone last week... but with the help of my trusty agenda (remember I'm a dork) I think I can piece it all together again... ah yes we were in Miami still so just pretend the title says Miami/London k? I think I'll make this more pictures and less words if that's alright with you... it is? I thought it would be!!!

Thur. 23- Today was another rainy, tropical stormy, the earth as you know it is gonna end kind of day... my favorite! Probably why there were no pictures of an outfit... it's all starting to make more sense...

Fri. 24- There was a very delicious and traditional Cuban meal today my Tia Mercy's... all the cousins got together and yes, there was more game boards!!! I also got to follow around another adorable baby niece just on verge of walking... who needs kid's of their own? Not me!

Sat. 25- Did a quick Kmart run to check out the summer line's I designed last year and picked up a few outfits for the nieces. But the most important part of the day... Marlena arrived!!! And we were pretty much wearing the same thing, so she changed. We had our ritual of a sushi date and then a movie... twas very fun!!!

Sun. 26- Another lazy and extremely rainy day in south Florida... so Marlena and I stayed in bed and watched Friends all day long while catching up!!! Ah just like our good old college days. So my mom wanted to infuse some her culture's cuisine on us and we went to a Peruvian restaurant for dinner which was amazing!!! Enjoy the pictures and don't be alarmed if your mouth starts to water, it's natural!

Mon. 27- Had to say goodbye to the lovely Marlena but no worries, we shall see each other again at X-mas time! Today was basically a lot of running around, last minute packing, re-arranging things in my suitcase, and saying goodbye to the family. It was a weird experience, I was really sad at leaving them even though I haven't lived at home since college so I'm pretty used to this, and really, REALLY excited to go home (where is home?) and be with hubs again... ah the tangled webs of emotions sometimes can be downright exhausting!

Tue. 28- So after a long flight back over the pond, I made it safe and sound to my hubs once again. And the best most unexpected surprise... he was home to greet me (he was supposed to be at work)... and had tidied up the flat... and brought me back goodies from France... and also bought me flowers and roses that he arranged around the flat in our recycled wine bottles... and the billboard was taken down so we have a pretty good view now!!! Wow that was a lot of excitement hu? So the rest of the day I slept and hubs watched... creepster!

Wed. 29- Well today I was waiting around for Virgin to come and install the internet... our second attempt... and I'm sure you all know by now that it was not successful... grrr! I tried to stay positive and optimistic, but truth be told, I had already mentally prepared myself for the letdown. Letting hubs deal with it and instead let me show you what color I painted my nails and another silly picture of me bored and waiting... yes this is what I really look like at home ;)

So that was last, last week and tomorrow I'll update you on last week... confusing right! I hope you understood, I think I did... anyhow I'm off to some Mexican and lovely ladies so excuse me as I make a mad dash for the margarita... it's calling my name you know! What drinks call yours???

***Today I am thankful that I was able to finish my run in the pouring rain, despite getting soaked from the rain and the buses... also I am thankful for hot showers... and also for the Mexican I will be inhaling later tonight with the Mexican Sista's... phew that was a lot!!!