*Disclaimer: this was written on the eve of my 26th b.day...
So tomorrow I turn 26... I have been struggling all year about what this means exactly and how I feel about it. Funy story about one of hub's granmother's, she started lying about her age so early on that to this day, no one knows how old she really is and refuses to be addressed as grandma! I can totally see this being me in the future. What is it about age that scares me so much? As I inch my way closer to 30 I keep feeling more and more overwhelmed with each birthday! I remember when 30 seemed ancient! So old and adult... the fun ends... and life starts going down hill doesn't it???
The truth is that I don't really feel all that more adult with each passing year... responsible? Who knows... mature? Not sure about that either... ready to call myself a full blown adult??? No way! And I think that what scares me the most about ending my 20's is society's (as well as family and friends) expectancy that we will soon start a family! Getting married was scary enough, although I must admit now nearly half a year into it, it's not bad at all! But I fear raising children is quite different than marriage. Becoming responsible for a whole person... yikes! I used to think that I'ld like to have kids in my mid 20's... that got pushed into my 30's... and now as that nears too, I'm afraid I still won't be ready.
When I started thinking about this year's birthday, I was determined it was a horrible thing and the only options were to either ignore and not celebrate at all (remove from facebook too!) or re-celebrate as 25 and begin my own version of confusion so know one would ever know my true age in the future... Now I know how ridiculous this all sounds, and trust me the hub's was right there to point it out... but what he also pointed out was all the good things that came with age and all the great things I've accomplished in just 25 years of life (he is my own personal cheerleader!).
And so I have re focused my thoughts and put all of my energy and effort into making this a great year! 26 means the first year of life with my husband who I love dearly... living in our first apartment together... the gaining of new family and friends... embarking on the next chapter of my career (hopefully soon!) in a new country... and many more things. I have this list of things I hope to accomplish before I turn 30, and surprisingly I have already crossed off more than I thought! I will be adding it as a separate page on my blog later to share with you all and keep me focused.
Sorry this was such a vent session... I'm sure you can relate with something or other that has scared you right? Alright then, with all this said, I have decided... as my facebook satus now says (so it must be true!) 26 is going to be awesome!!!!! So I off I go to celebrate with friends, family, and love ones with tequila shots! Cause I mean hey I may be facing 26 head on, but I'm still nervous ;)